My Son Is Not Happy: How Do I Help Him?
The goal of every parent is to ensure the health and happiness of their children. Unfortunately, neither life nor children come with an instruction manual and, despite doing our best, many times the results are not as expected. If the words that come to your mind right now are: “my son is not happy and I don’t know how to help him” , read carefully the keys that we propose below.
Where does happiness come from?
On many occasions we wonder why some children are happier than others. Why for some it is easy to see the good side of life and for others it is so difficult. From our perspective as parents, we may become distressed if we observe that our child is not happy.
The good news is that happiness is not something determined and immovable, but we have the ability to work on it. 50% of our happiness comes from genetic factors, 10% is influenced by our vital circumstances and the remaining 40% represents our attitude, the thought patterns that we learn.
Therefore, parents have the ability to transmit to our little ones appropriate cognitive and emotional patterns that help them move through life in a fluid and positive way. And, in addition, we can ensure that external circumstances are as favorable as possible.
I think my son is not happy
As parents, we always want to provide our little ones with a full, carefree and safe childhood. We long to be able to transmit to them the ability to enjoy and be happy with the simple things in life.
However, sometimes, doubts about the well-being of our children can assail us. Therefore, the first thing we have to do is try to identify if the child is unhappy or is simply a human being with its good and bad moments.
The main characteristics of a happy child are their ability to take an interest in and enjoy the people, activities, and events in their life. But, in addition, these children show a series of signs that we must take into account:
- They are cheerful and active. They laugh, smile and convey their joy to others.
- They are sociable, have many friends, and enjoy building relationships with other children.
- He is grateful, appreciates and appreciates the positive events and gestures of other people.
- Has a positive worldview and uses equally positive language. He is capable of being confident in the future and does not tend to dramatize situations.
- You are motivated and excited to undertake or carry out activities. They have a hobby or skill that they greatly enjoy.
- You have confidence in yourself. He is autonomous, does not present too many fears and expresses himself frequently aggressively.
How can I help if my child is not happy?
Love him unconditionally
A prerequisite to being happy is getting love and security from your main source of attachment. Love and accept your child as he is, express your affection. Also, listen carefully to him and talk to him often. In this way, the bond will be strengthened and you will be able to detect changes in your mood or small concerns to help you resolve them.
Set healthy limits
Although we believe that setting rules or saying ‘no’ can make our children unhappy, the opposite is true. Little ones need clear and consistent boundaries. They are their roadmap for what to expect from life and what life expects from them. This provides them with security and teaches them to tolerate frustration.
My son is not happy: it fosters his self-esteem and autonomy
Self-love is one of the most important values to be able to be happy. Therefore, strive to build a healthy self-esteem in your child, which makes him feel capable and valuable. Help him to be independent within his possibilities, entrust him with small responsibilities and let him carry them out. The feeling of accomplishment will forge in him a very positive self-concept.
Encourage a positive attitude
Try to instill in your children positive and optimistic thinking. Convey them the value of being kind and grateful, of valuing and enjoying all the good that surrounds us. Help them relativize problems and seek solutions instead of getting bogged down in them. But for this, the best thing you can do is be an example with your own positive attitude.
