My Child Is Not Communicating With Me, What Can I Do?
How many times have you wondered what your son thinks because he is able to spend hours in silence without saying anything or hooked on his cell phone? If you miss everything I told you when you were a child and would like to regain fluid communication with your child, I am going to give you some simple but very effective recommendations so that you stop thinking about “my child does not communicate with me.” To do this, you must keep these points in mind:
- Family atmosphere
- Quality time
- Family activities
- Stable social groups
The good atmosphere in the family environment, why is it important and how to achieve it?
Do you think that a company in which everyone is serious, quiet, angry or yelling all day would work? Well, neither is a family. There is a lot of talk in companies about “teaming up”, and this is exactly what you need to do at home with your child and with the rest of the family. If you have noticed that your child is not communicating with you, it is time to do something about it.
Having a relaxed, calm and pleasant environment is the first step to ensure that you and your child are in acceptable conditions to be able to communicate in a positive way.
To achieve this, you need to establish a series of fundamental points:
–Schedule and routines: Here we are not talking about turning your house into a barracks, but about establishing reference points that allow all members to know how the days are going to unfold. It is a strategy with very good results.
-Order and organization: This point also helps the whole family to feel more comfortable. It is very close to the previous one, and allows everyone to know what to expect when they are at home.
–Hierarchy and limits: Yes, limits. Today many parents have lost the point of reference on some educational aspects. A happy child is not the one who does what he wants at all times, but the one who knows the rules of the game and knows who has the final decision. Can you imagine a match between Real Madrid and Barcelona without a referee? Crazy.
-Respect and trust: Both go hand in hand. This does not mean that supervision and control is not necessary, but from a responsible and conscientious perspective. You have to put the means so that your child is able to achieve his goals and those that you set for him. You have to support them and make them feel that they are part of the family project.
–Collaboration and empathy: It is important that you put yourself in your child’s place. Spend an afternoon thinking from their point of view. Putting yourself in their shoes, as they say in English, is helpful in understanding many of their behaviors. If you feel understood and supported, you will also feel relaxed and happy.
Give your child what you value most, your time. You are going to freak out!
Do you have the feeling that you always lack time? Time is the most valued commodity in the world today. It sure is one of your main complaints. Well, engrave yourself by fire, which is also what your son values most about you.
Yes, really, that simple. Do you spend enough quality time with your child? Think hard before answering this trick question. Mmmmmm.
Yes, the key here is in the word quality. Surely if you hire someone to work for you part-time, what matters most to you is that they make good use of their time, right? Well, at home you have to do the same. Take advantage of the time you have or take it out of where you can to dedicate to your child the time he needs and of the quality he deserves.
In short, if your child does not communicate with you, here may be the key. Spend quality time with your children and you will see the results in a few days. To achieve this, we spin with the previous point:
-Know their tastes and interests. Understand it so that you can see how you are part of the things that are attractive to you. This way you can become a stimulating and interesting father or mother for your child.
-Learn about the things they like. Yes, I’m afraid you have to read a little about play , Minecraft and that kind of thing.
-Participate with him in them and get involved. Not only with these kinds of things that I have told you, but with all of them. If he likes music, sports or something very specific, it will make him very happy and it will help you to connect that you learn about it and talk to him about it. Let him show you what he knows and tell you why he likes it.
Family activities: recommendations to open channels of communication between all members
As children get older, they want to spend less time with parents or siblings. Didn’t it happen to you when you reached adolescence? It is normal. To ensure that this does not become a complete estrangement from your child, you can do things that do not make you feel like you have a stranger at home. If you have put into practice everything that I have recommended before, you will already have a lot of progress; otherwise, you’ll have to do a bit of magic to make up for lost time.
There are some activities that most children like regardless of their age. In some cases, things are more difficult and you will have to crack your head a bit more, but the key is to know your child well to find the right ones.
-In Seville there is an aquarium and it is super cool. My two nephews already know him. I have taken them both and they have loved it. They are 6 years apart, but it has not been a problem. I admit that I also loved it.
-An activity that is also done as a family and according to age and that can be very rewarding for everyone is a visit to the zoo or a natural park. I have thought on several occasions with my family to some towns in the province of Seville where you can see animals of many types. An example is the natural reserve “El Castillo de las Guardas”.
Friendships and groups of friends: keys to achieving a “positive” environment for your child
If you notice that your child does not communicate with you, surely you have ever worried about their companies. The best way to avoid problems is to know them. A good relationship with the parents of your child’s friends and the organization of group activities in which everyone can participate, including you, is a great idea.
I’m going to give you some ideas that work well, but it’s up to you to think about the best option for your son and his gang:
-A strategy that usually works very well in summer is to organize activities in the pool or on the beach, depending on where you live. Organize a whole thematic day with activities, games, prizes and more.
-Mini sports tournaments also work well. Whether it’s soccer, basketball, swimming… This has even better results if you do team activities and the prizes are mainly related to participating and not winning.
-Create teams of parents that participate and serve as “guinea pigs” so that they understand that having a good time is a simple way to interact and share fun time showing that there is no fear of ridicule if it gets lost.
In summary…
If you think that your child is not communicating with you, do not forget the following tips:
- The good atmosphere in the family environment is essential.
- Spending time with children is one of the pillars of success.
- There are family activities that are guaranteed a good result.
- Creating a stable social group that is supportive of your child will give you very good results.
