How Does The Brother Of A Sick Child Feel?
When a child in the family suffers from a serious, chronic illness or any type of special need, this becomes the center of attention and care. For parents, of course, this situation can be devastating, but for the rest of the children there can also be serious psychological and emotional consequences. Being the brother of a sick child is a difficult role to assume during such a delicate stage as childhood.
Rarely is the focus of attention on the siblings, neither from within the family nucleus itself nor from outside. Firstly, the situation of the sick child is concerned and, secondly, the state of those parents who are fighting one of the toughest battles in existence. For this reason, other children can fall into a limbo of indifference that, despite not being deliberate, can deeply damage them. Listening to them and giving them their place will be essential.
What does the brother of a sick child feel?
For a child, growing up in a context where one of the most important people in his little world is ill is overwhelming. The range of feelings that siblings can experience is infinite and can change over time. But they don’t always find a safe environment in which to express themselves or are motivated to do so.
For all this, below, we are going to collect the most common emotions that these little ones go through.
Loneliness
Loneliness is one of the most frequent emotions in the brother of a sick child. First, the illness of the other child consumes the time and energy of his parents to a great extent. For this reason, the child may have to spend long periods in the care of other family members, being able to feel that he is less important to his parents, that he does not have them when he needs them.
In addition, you will feel that you are living a unique and unusual experience. Most likely, you do not know other children in the same situation and you will not find someone to identify with and share your experiences and emotions.
Fear
Undoubtedly, having a sick brother confronts the child with uncertainty and fear for his health and well-being. You may not fully understand what is happening to your brother, what the current situation is, and what to expect in the future.
Normally you will be afraid of the suffering that your brother may be suffering, of how it will affect his life (everything he cannot and cannot do) and, at times, you will fear that he may die.
Rage
Given the sacrifices required by his brother’s illness, it is very likely that he will feel some anger towards him. You may hold a grudge against you for grabbing your parents’ attention, complicating your family situation, or simply not being healthy.
It is evident that the child, in most cases, is aware that his brother is not responsible for his illness, but internally he may harbor such negative and irrational feelings.
Guilt
Precisely because he feels anger, anger or resentment towards his brother the little one can feel guilty. If family communication is fluent, you will generally know the condition the other child is facing, you will know that they are suffering, and you will feel sadness and pain for it. For this reason, you will find these dark feelings unacceptable and you may punish yourself for having them.
How to help the brother of a sick child?
Although one of our children needs us more, we cannot forget that the rest of their siblings do too. Thus, it is essential that we create an environment in which emotions can be expressed openly and sincerely. The little one should know that all his feelings are valid, even the darkest ones, and that he has his parents to help him manage them.
In addition, it is very necessary to create a feeling of family unity and involve the children in caring for their sibling. It can also be very positive to go to groups in which the little one can meet other children in the same situation.
In short, we must look at the other brothers and see them. See the complexity of their reality and accompany them with love in the best possible way.
