Healthy Boundaries Will Prepare Your Child For Success
As a parent, you have more than likely wondered how you can best help your children learn to make good decisions in life. One way to prepare your children for success is by setting healthy limits at home so that they begin to understand the limits that exist at home and in life in general.
If your children grow up in a home where limits are established regularly and are also healthy, they can learn to impose these limits in their lives as well. It is a way that, little by little, and almost without realizing it, they are able to make positive decisions in their lives, thinking about themselves and others.
The meaning of limit
When we speak of limits, we do not mean obligations that children must blindly fulfill because it is the will of their parents. Nothing is further from reality. A limit means a norm that a person has for himself. The limits can be physical or emotional.
If we talk about the dark limits, it would be when people put limitations on their body, as when it is explained to a child that the body belongs to oneself and no one should violate it.
A child who grows up in a home where healthy limits are well established will learn to apply those limits in his own life, thereby developing better self-control and the ability to make positive decisions. When we refer to emotional limits, we focus on the emotional step, such as the limits that must be set to avoid, for example, teasing at school.
Teach children healthy limits
For a child to learn healthy limits in his life, it is necessary that parents do their part to achieve it. These limits must be taught from when children are small. For example, if your 4-year-old son cries because he has been hurt, the first thing you will have to do is see that he is physically well and then label his feelings; This means naming the emotions you feel.
It is essential that children learn to understand their own emotions because only in this way will they be able to better understand themselves and others. You need to accept his emotions so that he feels accepted by you and reinforces his natural sense of self and limits.
Another example would be when a child cries because he does not have treats after eating. You can say something like: “ I understand that you are frustrated because you wanted treats after eating, but now you must have fruit. On the weekend you can eat sweets on Lucas’s birthday ”.
Another example to make children understand the limits so that they become successful people would be: imagine that your son hits his brother. You will have to talk to them and find out what happened. Let them know that it’s okay to express anger, but that there are other acceptable ways to do it, and hitting a sibling is not acceptable at all.
You have to be firm
You will have to be firm and not show frustration or anger. You can say something like, “It is not okay to throw a toy at your brother. When you throw a toy, you have to sit in a chair to think about what you have done and then apologize ” , and not say anything more until a few minutes have passed (the number of minutes will have to be according to the age of your child).
When the time is up, you will have to talk to him and help him understand his emotions. Then get on with the day. He may not throw the toy away again, but if he does, he knows that he will be able to express his feelings without negative consequences if you avoid the bad behavior.
When they defy the limits
It is quite common for children to want to challenge the limits you set for them; this is normal. When this happens, think of the situation that is happening as an opportunity to explain to your children what are the consequences of ignoring limits. You should start by showing respect for limits, but also for your children at all times.
Be a good role model at all times so that your children learn to follow healthy limits and over time learn to follow them not only at home, but also in their life in general. Thus, they will learn to make positive decisions at any stage of their life and will create happier and healthier lives thanks to limits.
