Listening To Your Child Is As Important As Hugging Him

Many parents complain that their children do not talk to them. However, specialists think that this phenomenon is not just a matter of the child’s personality, sometimes it is a parental error. In most cases, children stop talking to their parents of their own accord.

It is normal that there are children less communicative than others, but sometimes we are the ones who promote it. Why are we responsible for not being spoken to? Because we don’t always know how to listen.

As adults we know how to identify when someone does not pay attention to us or does not seem interested in what we say. We can come to believe in the wrong way that children do not notice it.

The importance of effective communication with children begins before birth. It is understood that the fetus in the womb can recognize the voice of its mother, so we must speak to them. From pregnancy it is also important to listen to them, but we do not always know how to do it.

According to experts, knowing how to listen to our children is as important as any caress. From our adult perspective we can recognize the importance of having someone listen to us. In the same way a child perceives it, feeling heard is being able to trust that person. The confidence that the little one needs to be able to speak is obtained from those who listen.

Learn to listen to your child

We have many different actions as a demonstration of love. We may not take into account that knowing how to listen is one of them, but when we love, it is not difficult to fulfill. Our children’s first words seem to be very important, but over time, we stop listening carefully to them.

It is possible that we are promoting the estrangement. It is not only about the affection that we can transmit with this action, but we need to know about them. It is essential that we know their tastes, if they have a problem or if they feel bad. Therefore, knowing how to listen to children is not a superficial thing or mere kitsch.

Here are some guidelines designed by psychologists to learn to listen to children.

Examine your conscience and accept the truth

The first thing that experts advise us is that we examine ourselves. We do not have to expose the results publicly, but it is important to reflect. Are we really listening to children carefully or just out of obligation? Do we have time and are we interested in what they tell us?

It is typical to make an excuse that we are busy: “Then tell me, now I’m busy.” Perhaps what he is going to tell us can wait, but for him it is important. Without realizing it we could be doing this on a regular basis. Therefore, the little one begins to think that trying to talk to his parents is a wasted effort.

Don’t force him to speak

In order for the child to talk to you, you must have earned his trust, he must want to do it himself. Do not wait for him to tell you his things out of obligation, much less pressure him to do so. Give him his time to tell you but with kindness, nothing to put an ultimatum or demand them in a brusque way. Nobody responds adequately when they feel threatened.

Try not to interrupt

Remember that children do not find it easy to find the right words to express themselves. Therefore it is important to wait for them to finish speaking to ask them or make comments.

Although we have an idea of ​​what it is about, it is preferable that he says it himself. Besides being a good exercise in communication, it is one of the keys to learning to listen.

Practice active listening

The active listening method proposes a series of steps for us to improve communication with children. It consists of showing real interest in what they say, coming down to their height, looking into their eyes, and really talking.

To do this, it is necessary to let them know that we are listening, not only by nodding, it is answering their questions and having their own.

Avoid judging him

Most of the time we look for someone to listen to us just because we want to talk, we are not waiting for advice, much less a trial. Even if we do not agree with what he tells us he did, it is advisable to wait for him to finish and try not to judge him immediately.

Sometimes there are things that need to be corrected quickly, but others that are not so serious can wait. As long as we judge them for everything they say, they will less want to talk to us.

Take some time just to listen to them

Try to make a space in your occupations to talk with your children. A time free of distractions, without washing machines, television or mobile in between.

It should be an opportune moment to ask how the school was, what about friends and other questions that allow us to get to know you better.