Each Mother Creates A Manual For Raising Her Child
Each child represents a unique challenge that each mother must face. We do not know if confronting is the right word, as parenting is not under any circumstances a threat. Rather, it is an act of infinite love and humility, without a manual to use.
Although all children, and in general all human beings, go through the same stages throughout our lives. Not all of us solve or deal with them in the same way. Nor do we perceive or live them the same as others and that happens to us because we are all unique beings.
There is no magic manual
Therefore, it is deeply contradictory to hope to find a magic formula that will give us all the answers to the challenges of raising a child of this time. Yes, because today’s children turn out to be so especially awake and sweet that they sometimes leave us unarmed.
In fact, most psychologists who write about parenting emphasize that each mother’s experience shows that each situation and each child must be approached as a unique challenge. Respectfully and consciously resolving situations depends on many factors.
These factors can be emotional resources or expectations. As well as the evolutionary cycle and the particular characteristics that your child has, in addition to the circumstances that surround each moment.
Trusting your instincts is worth more than any manual
And although, as we already know, no one gives us a manual to raise our child, there are certain guidelines that we can follow and that you will adapt according to the situation and the personality of your baby. Try to trust your motherly instinct.
Nobody knows better than you how to take care of your child, nobody knows him better than you. Nor is there another person more suitable or better equipped to comfort him. However, it never hurts to have a guide or lights to help you raise your baby and what better way than to consult parenting psychologists and writers.
Experts speak
Louma Sader Bujana, who in addition to being a mother is the author of the book Reflections on Respectful Parenting, gives us certain lights to face in a conscious and loving way this challenge of raising a child. The Venezuelan advises us to arm ourselves with patience to be able to approach each situation in a respectful way.
“If I know the evolutionary state in which my son is, if I know what he is capable of now, what he needs and what he still cannot give or do, I can adjust my expectations and my inner state with my own. child. The more in tune we are with our children, the more fluid parenting will be. In my opinion, it is necessary to be patient, empathetic and have realistic expectations for it ”, says the also dentist in an interview.
The psychologist David Cortejoso, creator of Psicoglobalia.com, advises that we must respect the personalities of our children, which he considers as a fundamental parenting guideline:
“Each child is unique and different. We do not have to educate him to do the same as the rest of the children. Each one chooses their path, their objectives and purposes, so not all children should be the same ”, says Cortejoso in an article.
Write your own manual
For her part, the psychologist Rosa Jove, who is the author of the book entitled Happy parenting, establishes the following premise: “ Only the baby who feels satisfied and cared for will eliminate fear and stress from his life. He will be happy ” . The specialist, who is also a mother, stresses the importance of establishing habits and routines to raise your child.
Try to establish the rules and routines of your house with your partner. This will help you to be democratic and also to be real. That will help you to teach by example and not to contradict yourself, which is a very common parenting mistake: Giving contradictory orders.
And one more thing; never underestimate your son. It is good to know that from six months children understand many things; and although they are not yet expressed, they begin to differentiate between “this is possible and this is not.” That is why it is very important that the house rules are clearly communicated early, the sooner the better. Thus, you will be able to have educated, responsible and autonomous children, which is more or less the dream of all parents.
There is no one right way to breed
And although there are certain guidelines that can guide us, believe it: There is no one correct way to raise children and if there is one remember that standardized formulas and recipes do not work. Because each family constitutes a particular identity with its own customs from which a set of values and rules of coexistence emerge.
So what might work for my neighbors probably won’t work for my family. Write your own manual, one that works for you and your children. Do it with bases full of love, patience and respect, it will surely work.
