Teach Your Child That Wants Are Not Always Needs

A need is something indispensable for a human being, or at least, what is extremely important for his personal development, health and life in general. A desire is a longing, the longing to satisfy a certain taste that, once achieved, will fulfill the fulfillment and happiness of an individual. 

Sometimes desires are among the many needs that a human being experiences throughout his life, but this is not always the case. Not infrequently the desires are only focused on satisfying the body or the spirit and have nothing to do with what the person in question needs to continue living.

Teach your child that desires are not always necessities so that he learns to elucidate both concepts and, above all, to accept that when mother cannot satisfy a whim of hers, either because she leaves the education she wants to give him, she puts their physical integrity is in danger, or the economy is not enough for it, we must remain satisfied.

How to teach a child that wants are not always needs?

Dreams and needs are motivated by material, cognitive or affective desires. Not infrequently these emotional states go hand in hand. There are moments in which one and the other coincide and therefore are made a reality as soon as they arise. Among them we can cite:

• When the girl needs new shoes for school and suddenly she sees some that she likes a lot in a shop window and asks Mom to buy them for her
• When the obese boy wants to become a soccer star and tells his mother to enroll him in that sport. The land is very far from the house but the pediatrician has recommended that the child start playing sports
• When the girl dreams of taking a plane trip. Since she also wants and needs to see her dad who is working in another country, mom decides to fulfill those dreams

Now, there are many other wants that do not fall into the category of needs. Just as the previous examples are questions highly desired by a child; however, by X or by Y they never come true.

How to ensure that a child does not get frustrated?

When a human being does not fulfill his dream, he becomes frustrated. By not satisfying your will, not having achieved what you wanted so much, you feel like a failure and can be invaded by sadness.

In the case of children, this particular can take on a greater connotation because they are not endowed with emotional intelligence like adults to face this problem. So how do you keep your child from getting frustrated? We explain you in steps by giving a hypothetical example.

1. Ask him to explain why he wants something so bad. Once you know the background of your dream you will be able to understand its nature. Maybe your child very much wants you to buy him a bike because his other classmates have a
2. Explain your causes, ask him without hesitation why you cannot satisfy his desire. Following the example of the bike, the family may not be able to buy it because that month they have other extra expenses
3. Look for alternatives to your dream or solutions with which you can be satisfied. Talk to him to make him see that there are other options with which you can please him. The bike costs very expensive but you can get to a skateboard. Children surprise us every day, perhaps your child did not consider the option of the skateboard and every time you bring it up, he starts jumping for joy. Another alternative is to ask him to make a piggy bank to save, month by month, some money and within a while to be able to buy the much desired bike
4. Given the case that the dream of having a bike cannot be fulfilled because the purchasing power of the family is not enough for it, not even saving month by month, it is necessary to tell the truth to the child, not to talk to him with lies that on his next birthday you are going to please him thinking that he will forget the subject Children have the right to always know the truth, their doubts must be clarified. Tell him that both he and the rest of the family have needs that they cannot meet, such as purchases of groceries for the month, school supplies, payment of water and electricity costs … you have to talk about it so that he can realize that these are true needs that you cannot lack.

Even when some mothers believe that their child will not understand them, children have a fertile mind and always open for all the learning that we can give them.