Don’t Worry Mom, You’re Doing Fine

Don’t worry mom, because you are doing well. Because all your sleepless nights to attend to cries make sense, because you know that feeding with caresses is educating in strengths and because no one but you knows what your child needs at all times.

Parenting experts usually tell us that it would be very necessary to develop some type of integral medicine where, in addition to taking care of the health of the mother and the child, the emotions, of “that whole” that we are the people where any piece out of balance can affect the rest.

Something that every mother knows is that it is not necessary to have given birth to a child to know what love is, however, motherhood, by itself, does not exempt us from having certain fears. We fear that our children will stop breathing while they sleep, we wonder every day if we are doing well, and if, as our own mother or friends tell us, we are “spoiling” our children too much.

Nobody comes to this world knowing everything about parenting, however, there is something that you must be clear about: you are doing well, and if at any time you have doubts, the best person to advise you is your pediatrician . What the popular voice says is irrelevant to a mother’s instinct and the confidence of our health professionals.

The three fears of every mother

Sometimes, every mother’s fears are marked by her own personal and family history. A complex childhood, where there have been emotional deficiencies or abuse, generally causes any mother to want to avoid those same personal abysses and offer her children all that personal, emotional and psychological balance that she herself lacked in her childhood.

In addition, When a woman does not feel well in her personal life, with her partner or with her professional situation, she also develops many anxieties that she strives every day to control and alleviate, so that all of this does not affect the upbringing of her child.

Motherhood is a scene full of circles. On the one hand there is our personal past, then there is that of society itself and the social and affective context where we are included. The last circle is the most delicate and important, it is the one we establish with our babies.

Let’s see now what are the three fears that a mother usually experiences to the point of thinking that there are things that she is not doing well.

• Fear of not knowing how to understand the child’s needs. This is a reality as common as it is understandable. Moreover, even having several children, the same concern always appears, because each baby is different and has different needs.

However, far from building fears around this dimension, one must remember something: you are the best answer to all your child’s needs. That bond that you create with him as soon as you arrive in the world will make you intuitive to many of his demands. In addition, you have the support of wonderful health professionals who advise you at all times.

• Fear of making the same mistakes our parents made. In one way or another, we all have some image in our mind of what our family did or did not do when we were children. Now, it is worth bearing in mind that being a father, being a mother does not exempt you from making a mistake. Because perfect parents don’t exist.

However, the essential thing is to “be present”, to be there for your children whenever they need you.

• Fear of not knowing how to make our children happy. This is another common fear. However, do not obsess over it. It is enough to remember some essential keys: listen to your child, respect his times, teach him to be responsible, make him feel that he is a special person, and remind him that you will always be with him on every path he chooses to take free.

You’re doing fine, you’re a complete mom

In an interesting article published in the magazine “Psychologies” we define an interesting concept by which you will undoubtedly discover that you are doing wonderfully well as a mother.

It’s about the “whole mom” idea. These are the main backbones that make up this idea, this image that we should all aspire to:

• The complete mother does not see herself as a perfect mother, but as a person who learns every day to give the best to her child based on his needs.

• The whole mom does not project her emotional problems onto her children. On a gray day at work, an argument with your partner does not affect the quality of your relationship with your children.

• A complete mom does not control, overprotect, or clip the wings of her children. It teaches them what responsibility and maturity are so that tomorrow they will be free and happy adults.

• The emotional mom offers a wonderful emotional legacy that helps her children strengthen their self-esteem and self-confidence.

It is worth bearing in mind and always trusting ourselves.