What Attitude To Adopt When Your Child Disagrees With You?
What to do if your child disagrees with you? The first tip may seem harsh, but you need to understand that your son has his own ideas And many times, as with any individual, these are different from yours, which, even if you don’t like it, is not a sin.
Yes, it can certainly be somewhat irritating that your little creature is so stubborn, but understand that she is defending her idea. Who does not defend them with passion?
There will always be a moment when a child has his own idea, the first, even if it is wrong, will defend it tooth and nail until he understands why he is not allowed to carry out “his idea”, “his wish” .
This situation, according to the psychologist Rosa Jove, is the origin of many tantrums and problems of coexistence within the home. But before fighting, it is necessary to understand that conflicts are not created by the child for pleasure, but that these are an essential part of their growth, only then are we in a position to act in a more positive way.
By defending his ideas, your son is becoming independent, experimenting, reasoning … which will make him an adult with his own criteria, so before censoring him it is better to negotiate, make him see that he is probably wrong; But to bring that process to a successful conclusion you must remain calm.
“A better understanding of the child and more tranquility in the family are usually a good starting point to try to improve things,” recommends the author of several books on motherhood and child psychology. If you understand your child more, the problems are minimized, he advises.
In addition, it is convenient to think that, in general, most children do not have their own ideas that put their lives at risk. It is very likely that you want to wear pants that do not match a shirt, which is against good taste, but no one will die for it.
But if you want to take a knife or engage in a dangerous activity, it is vital to explain to him, using arguments that he can understand based on his age, that he can hurt himself with this object. If it is a situation in which it is necessary for him to obey you, then try the three-step technique: First, understand the child; second, educate him and explain what is expected of him, and third, let him choose his own solutions.
Limits and respect for own ideas
Respectful parenting proposes to help the child to recognize the inborn limits of coexistence, your role as a parent is to establish clear limits and rules, that you consciously accompany them in the important process of recognition of these and discipline. The limits must be reasonable and respectful of the child’s integrity as a person.
Try not to yell at him, punish or hit your son, remember that he can reason ; after all, the conflict arose because he is defending an idea.
There are experts who recommend that instead of trying to convince him that he is wrong, you explain your clue point starting like this: “ You are absolutely right, but from your point of view. From mine … “
This phrase allows you to agree with your son and validate his feelings while making it clear that you do not agree with him without trying to judge, impose or convince. This has the magical effect of shortening the distances between talkers and breaking down communication barriers, helping you lower your guard. And it works for adults too!
Let me play
Another important fact, many times children become rebellious because they are stressed. You already know the effects of stress on you, so imagine stress. To rid them of him, let him play.
Jove, who disseminates the philosophy of attachment parenting, highlights that play is an essential activity for the development and training of the child.
“ The hours of play help him release stress ; whose effect favors the appearance of coexistence problems ”, he explains.
It is worth bearing in mind that the fact that our children are excessively bored, being too strict and demanding what we have not taught them are usually the most frequent obstacles for everything to go well. So taking these aspects into account and keeping calm to be able to negotiate with arguments, you can surely fight any battle.
