Is It True That Children Always Tell The Truth?

Part of the charm of children comes from their naive and unabashed sincerity, but are children always sincere?

Many times we have heard the saying: “children always tell the truth. ” We have all laughed at the spontaneous comments of a child at the wrong time. And, in a way, this saying has been engraved in our minds as something unquestionable. But is it really true?

Children tell the truth

The reality is that children are characterized by their great spontaneity. They are still naive and innocent beings, who express themselves openly. When they are still young, children verbalize their thoughts clearly, simply and directly. They don’t stop to think about how their words will affect the listener.

This naturalness is something that awakens tenderness in adults and causes humor most of the time. And it is probably the basis of the aforementioned saying. The little ones express themselves without fear and without the filter of morality. 

This is especially so in the first years of life. Until about 4 years of age, children have not developed empathy. Without this function, they are unable to put themselves in the place of the other person and are only guided by the achievement of their own objectives or by the aforementioned spontaneity.

Children also tell lies, they don’t always tell the truth

But, if we stop to think for a moment, we will easily realize that children also lie, and they do so from an early age.

Despite their innocence, the little ones lie for different reasons depending on their age and the stage of development in which they are.

Thus, in the preschool stage, children often lie due to their difficulty in distinguishing reality from fantasy. It is common for his narratives to mix real situations with fictional elements.

They can also lie because they want to get something or because they want to avoid it. For example, a child may lie to receive a prize he yearns for or not to disappoint his parents.

You can do this to hide your problems or to get attention. Be that as it may, children don’t tend to harm other people on purpose. That is not your intention by lying.

On the other hand, they are quite capable of detecting the lie in their parents through their gestures or expressions, and they perceive this lie as a betrayal. Let us, then, be careful to transmit the information to our children in a way that is consistent with their understanding, but without the need to lie to them.

How to encourage balanced honesty

Although the naive sincerity of children is charming, sometimes it can also lead to an unpleasant situation, and it can even hurt someone’s feelings.

Having the empathy and diplomacy necessary to interact with other people is undoubtedly an important value and one that we must transmit to the little ones in the best possible way.

Naturally, as the child grows and develops cognitively and emotionally, that raw sincerity is transformed. They begin to be able to take into account the feelings of another person and to soften or omit some of their expressions so as not to hurt. In short: they find the balance between sincerity and tact.

what can we do as parents?

• Do not scold the child harshly if we catch him in a lie. But do explain that things at home should not be counted, or that it is necessary to think before expressing something.
• Act as role models. As we have said before, children are capable of perceiving lies in their parents, and this generates confusion. As we well know, children do what they see and not what they are told, therefore, let’s use the modeling technique to teach them to express themselves with courage, sincerity and delicacy.
• Use positive reinforcement whenever they emit desirable behaviors or expressions. Letting them know through praise or social reinforcement that such behavior is appropriate. In this way, that behavior will be sealed in his mind, making it more likely that he will emit it again in the future.

• Show them the natural consequences of their actions, rather than punish them artificially. It has a more beneficial impact to explain that with your behavior you can hurt a person you love a lot, than to punish him without watching television.