Why Do My Children Behave Worse At Home?
Children are an immense source of joy. They are always active, cheering us on even on the grayest days. Unfortunately, there are times when they are not able to stop playing. They yell, bite, cry and disobey, especially if one of their parents is present. Surprisingly, many of them have exemplary behaviors in school or kindergarten. Why, then, do they misbehave at home?
As parents, our main concern is that our children are happy. We try to be the kindest, most sympathetic and understanding, but there are times when we only manage to encourage their bad behaviors. The fault may be a sample, but it may also be just a stage. It is important to analyze the causes in order to reverse them.
Do children behave worse with mothers?
Not long ago a rumor emerged of an alleged investigation by the University of Washington. In it, it was reported that, after having studied 500 families in depth, it had been concluded that children behaved worse towards mothers.
According to this research, it is because the mother is the one who spends the most time with the infant. As a result of this, the boy did not doubt his unconditional love, which gave him the license to behave in a more rebellious way.
This study was later found to be fake news. No, children do not behave worse with mothers. Not better either. The behavior depends on the education of the child and his degree of closeness to the person.
There are mothers who work and fathers who stay at home. There are children who spend much more time with their uncles or grandparents than with their parents.
There are also cases of children who have much more relationship with their teachers. This may be due to family reasons or to being interned in schools or institutions.
If the study were true, it would clearly be conditioned by the idea that the mother does not work outside. Although this is not always the case, women with children are now much more integrated into the world of work. To assume that, due to her role, the mother is the one who spends the most time with the child, is an erroneous thought.
Why do my children misbehave at home and not outside?
Some children, as already mentioned, have very bad behaviors at home. This may be because their parents try to calm their temper tantrums by granting them everything they want. Unfortunately, this only makes them worse.
At school, things change. A teacher is never going to be compliant in the face of a bad reply or inappropriate crying. They are authority figures, who must impose themselves as such. Facing someone who is not going to hesitate to punish them if they misbehave makes, most of the time, they want to avoid that problem. They also tend to compete for the teacher’s admiration with other classmates, preventing any possibility of sabotage.
How can i fix this?
Become an authority figure
It is good that you always try to make your child happy, but what makes him happy is not always good for him. Try to be sharper and more concise. If you allow him certain behaviors as a child, you may have problems with him when he is older. Discipline is very important.
Giving love does not mean consenting
By not allowing him everything, he will not stop loving you. You must learn to behave well and know that your tantrums will only get you punishments. It may cost both of you at first, but you will end up knowing what is right for you.
If his behavior improves for a while, give him a small reward.
Spend more time with him
Children often misbehave to get the attention of their parents. Analyze if you spend too much time away from home or if you make him feel loved. You may just want your parents to listen to you a bit. Sometimes disobedience and aggressiveness respond to loneliness.
Talk to their teachers
Talking to educators is always a good choice. They will be able to tell you if the child has a problem in class, or if he has commented on something that may be important. Together with the parents, they are the adults with whom the child usually spends the most time.
