Why Child Regression Is Common During The Pandemic
The pandemic situation that we are all experiencing is not being easy for anyone; neither for children nor for the elderly. If you look a little bit, you will notice that everyone seems to have taken a step back, especially the children. There is a regression that seems quite common in little ones.
If your baby used to sleep well all night, your little one started to put off diapers, your student son was good at reading, you used to get along with your partner, etc., but since COVID-19 appeared in our lives it seems that all that is changing, or na regression in each of the people, the least temporarily, is what is happening.
Infantile regression
What is happening? Why do adults and especially children regress in times of stress? Perhaps we are unconsciously asking to be cared for in some way. It’s like wanting to wrap yourself in a blanket, curled up in a fetal position, and wait for all the bad things to happen while we feel safe and secure.
Maturity requires more internal “management” by the frontal cortex to ensure that our behaviors meet social expectations. In times of stress, all of this disappears and we begin to act more instinctively.
This process can be explained physiologically in terms of changes in blood flow in the brain during activation of the stress response system, but regressive behavior also “works” – it serves an important purpose.
Although regressive behaviors can be problematic, our subconscious has its own wisdom. Our children complain or cry, our teenager has a big tantrum, our boy who already knew how to go to the bathroom has an accident and we pay attention to that. This is, in part, what our children are asking for right now.
Regression: your child’s internal emotions want to get your attention
But our children don’t just need our attention. Your child’s internal emotions are asking for your attention and need to be addressed. So what do we do?
First of all, you have to know that this is temporary and common. You should also keep in mind that if your child has regressive behavior, mood swings, etc., you have to respond to their emotions, not their behavior.
Look for messages behind the emotion or behavior and respond to that and not to the rest. For example, if your child has started wetting the bed again, sit next to him and say something like, “ I noticed the bed was wet this morning. Don’t worry, sometimes when we are stressed it can happen. What is it that worries you at this moment?
Tips for Regressions During the Pandemic
Teach your children that emotions are messages (and remember that too). If we can recognize what they want to tell us without judging ourselves, we can get to the root of what one needs and solve what is disturbing our emotions.
- Communicate with your children. Ask your children about the coronavirus and what they want to know about it. Ask them why they are specifically concerned. Share information and news in a developmentally appropriate way.
- Connect with your children in a meaningful way. Connect with your children in a meaningful way and support them in their emotional changes. Sharing time is more important than the details of the activity. While upholding the social distancing recommendations, go for a walk, have a picnic on the patio, watch a movie together …
- Also keep the limits. Just because your child is stressed doesn’t mean you should let him sleep in your bed every night if you don’t want him to. You meet the needs of your children, but they must honor yours as well.
As parents, we often find ourselves making adaptations based on the needs of our children; This is part of parenting. But when those accommodations cross important personal lines, which are individual to each parent, the cost outweighs the benefit and stress is added, rather than eliminated.
Also pay attention to your inner needs and responses
Pay attention to your own internal responses. If an important boundary has been crossed, you may need to get creative in finding solutions that meet your child’s needs, as well as your own.
Remember that all this is temporary and that, like everything, it will pass. Be understanding with your children if they have a behavior that they have already overcome. But above all, don’t forget to give her all your love whenever she needs it. Now she needs you more than ever.
